Thank you for yet another way to get the message out.
Of course you will also stay anonymous.
… also re-claiming my ‘anonymous’ image, here, ‘un-anonymous-ing’ myself — sharing for my sister — a tribute …
Need to say, **trigger warnings** for my writing, below, regarding victims of violent crimes, murder, rape, and cancer survivors, too …
… I can’t re-blog the most-recent post at realmendonotrape.tumblr.com — but, I feel I need to say — in reply to the comments (which I agree with so strongly, that I’m having another anxiety attack as I write this), yes, actually, the authorities do care more about murderers than they do for the victims, too — the murderer of my sister is being released and from his ‘parole’ in this next month — and no, not deported, as they told us, assured us, he would be — I can’t really articulate, at all, the effects this is having on myself and my family — my Mum (who is also a breast cancer survivor — she developed breast cancer within the six months and caused by after my sister was murdered) is ill again, my Dad, my surviving sister and myself — this is making us very ill, physically, psychologically, mentally and emotionally — we have tried so, so hard to survive and overcome the trauma and nightmares and terrible loss of my sister — I still have the nightmares as well as the flashbacks — when the authorities began to threaten us with the release of the murderer in this country, I began to have entoptic migraines, which I’d never even had before — and the pain of the fibromyalgia is getting worse again (in addition to the nerve damage) — and the severe panic attacks and anxiety symptoms that have often been completely debilitating and almost destroyed my life — I have been suicidal — but not for a long time — until again these past six months — and, I just don’t understand why these people don’t care — they have destroyed my belief in their authorities and human beings — they are igniting our devastation and the terrible grief — I can’t even explain articulately — I could tell you what a wonderful person my sister was, how she was hard-working, creative, beautiful, courageous and kind (not that her character is relevant — but since, some reactions — for example, the man I was momentarily considering, until I told him that my sister had been murdered, and his first reaction was, “did she get involved with a bad crowd?”) — no — the murderer was her fiance of four years, actually — so, “domestic violence”, is that why the judge, in his sentencing, apparently didn’t care about justice for my sister? Because she was stabbed 24 times by a man who was supposed to protect and care for her — isn’t that “worse”, or not “better” — I could also tell you how, during the murderer’s trial, other women positively identified him as the person who had apparently raped them several years earlier — how he was ironically described in court as a person with ‘no prior convictions’, despite these pending rape allegations — and I guess I should be able to say something more succinct and satisfactorily explain to hopefully engender at least some empathy for victims, finally, surely, but how can I, when none of this even makes any sense to me, to us … do you want a society that allows those who have shown themselves capable of stabbing someone to death (while she was naked, and then calculating enough to hiding her body and lying) to have been let out of jail after twelve to seventeen years? To interact with innocents again? Someone who’s capable of such malice and violent crimes toward other beings, now allowed to interact with unsuspecting innocents? And, I can’t really even articulate the depths of distress they are causing us — we’ve tried so hard, to survive, to move forward despite the endless grief and loss and pain every day that never really leaves my heart and thoughts and dreams and soul, but to be courageous and carry on … and it feels as if the authorities now are re-victimising us, bringing back up all the grief and pain magnified so terribly, despite how we’ve been working so hard to survive and overcome … to quote my Nanna, as she held me in her arms as we cried at my sister’s funeral, “What are we going to do … what are we going to do?”
Thank you for re-claiming your photo and for sharing your story in public as well.
It’s tough to accept what is called justice, especially if promises made to you are not kept. That is the least you should be able to rely on.
